Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Goodbye Kent Lovelace

 This was written in May of 2017, and published on my website, but not here. I thought I would put it in now to remind me. 


Please excuse my indulgence, as I try to grapple with today's events. Still trying to absorb and process this. 


Today, Friday, May 12, 2017 we watched the telemetry display describe the end of Kent Lovelace's earthly life, after he was disconnected from the life support that was contraindicated by his most recent EEG from earlier in the morning. 


What was the creative and loving mind of our smiling and energetic friend was now a swarm of seizure activity barely contained by horrific doses of medication to mitigate the physical chaos that that electrical storm translates to. Then, ironically, the heart that was so unforgiving earlier in the week was now soldiering on without breath for over fifteen minutes and more, refusing to dole even a severe mercy to those who attended. 


Then it stopped. 


And although the reality was present and undeniable, I deny it all the same. There is no proof that would be adequate to convince this jury. At least not now. Not while I am looking at the face of Superman who can only be sleeping. I remind my denial that this cannot be real.


Reality is, Kent actually left us for the Orion Belt last Tuesday and all this recent drama is but the formality of seeing the corporal body off after the fact. It allows the space to express the human need to plead in the face of the infinite for a stay of our pain. 


When I say "we" I hijack the liberty to speak for all those present today.


So we spent the day courting Hope and Her powers of last minute reprises, miracles, and everlasting bliss, but she is the Homecoming Queen, and we are the Math Club... and she says no. She saves her favor for the captain of the football team, and though we are crushed we sorta knew it would turn out this way. 


When it finally hits me I will say my internal goodbye, but for now I must nurse my disbelief...


Kent Lovelace, from our last trip to Montana together... driving around with Geoffrey Sutton.